shock shock horror!

my English is apalling. when i speak, there are additional syllables floating around. when i write, my grammar is horrible - yesterday was today is happening. i hate this.

it would be a great time to start reading. these are the unread books that have been gathering dust, some for more than 2 years...

tuesdays with morrie (1/4 through)

design of everyday things (1/3)

midnight's children

the alchemist (5 pages)

im sure there are a couple more, i don;t remember them so they're not significant enough to mention. let's see how this experiment would help my English. ugh.

inspiration

judging by the amount of time i have been spending surfing the internet and the celebrity circle on facebook, i lack inspiration. i need a new muse. an idea. some vague direction. a journey.

there's no reason to be static. it's time to take out the diana, nikki, the passport and hop skip and jump around the world a bit. (bank account permitting ofcourse...)

my daydreams are of long train rides, country hopping by ferry (richard hammond style). driving around aimlessly. i don't know. go from singapore to london by land... maybe.. i just want that slight bit of the unexpected in this world of all expectations. a craving to discover, dream and come to life!

and then let it take over, be my muse and inspire my soul...

first train home i've got to get on it

i love trains, cats, roses, and 2 seater planes.

i haven't written in a long time. i realised i don't even carry a pen in my handbag. this is disjoint. i will bore you with mundane facts. maybe explanations.

every 2 years in life, there comes some major overhaul. some change, which is a good thing. managing it can be tough. good or bad, it's how we learn and move forward. miracles come in handy, no doubt ;).

don't play with fire. dragon friending or otherwise. i will show you why on flickr soon. but like charlotte says, just don't play with fire. it tends to get you some black diamonds. (hell i wouldn't mind them, just don't say its the colour of my soul ;))

since saturday, ive got 10k under my heels. running at night, with planes taking off at your side was otherworldly. beautiful.

i never imagined that i would ever have achieved this, ever. but i tend to surprise myself. addicted to running, i will go halfway by the end of this year.

nitin sawnhey is a genius. acoustic evening blew me away on friday. i have been meaning to call classical heritage for a year now. maybe finally, it's about time. i think i've found the perfect song for a duet.

for the record, the cello is no doubt the sexiest musical instrument.

this saturday will be barefoot morning, for a cause i support. i believe everyone has the right to a safe, comfortable home. in my life, home has been the pivot, the nesting space, recovery zone. when this space does not offer the safety, security and certainty that it should, my life has tumbled and turned. we are privileged to have a roof over our heads, but for those who don't, lets bare our soles, make a statement and take several steps to change this reality.

there was something else i wanted to talk about, oh yes, it was food.

do try the cellar door, the hand burger, toby's cafe

do not try cafe cartel

these places call for a junkbox update, for which you need to wait. till then, i want to be blown away by jake gyllenhaal, and you should too.

the mental blog

it has been a good so many months since i've visited my own blog. partly because i've been living in a whirlwind that is 'oh so totally' wrapped around me, me and me. this accentuated selfworth seems to originate from the time i have become too busy/tired to sleep, cook and some times eat. i do not condone such a lifestyle, but it has its rewards, even if it does not show up on the teller.

coping is quite difficult, as usual with a shrinking bank balance, hectic lifestyle and new abode. marking territories, boundaries and achievements hardly afford the time to write about the dialogues that run in my wired up mind. which is what brings me to the mental blog.

at the end of each day, i seem to need to 'wrap up' the events and conclude all the happenings on my way home. this monologue runs in my mind, right about the time i start to head back. sort of like a mental blog, with many many interesting and sarcastic jokes worthy of sharing. however the hitch is when i finally reach home, after the routine facebook and email checking, i shut down the computer and lie in bed. the interesting anecdotes of the day die an oblivious death as my eyelids drop and i fall asleep.

how many of you have got stuck in this infinite loop of almost non-existence? it is not something to be unhappy about, but i'm sure it is something of great concern to anthropologists and sociologists alike..

Who is Peter Walsh?

I am Peter Walsh. I am also Clarissa and Sally. I could be Septimus, but I would rather not be.

Mrs. Dalloway was not an easy book to read. At a maximum rate of 10 pages a day, it is finally back on the bookshelf. It took me a while to digest, fluttering through the characters' minds, confused as a reader, this book deserves (or needs) seconds. Apart from admiring the language, the wordiness and the characters (whom i think combine to form an alter ego of me) these are some excerpts that stuck.

"Rigid, the skeleton of habit alone upholds the human frame."

"What does a brain matter,.... when compared with the heart?"

"What is this terror? what is this ecstacy? he thought to himself. What is it that fills me with extraordinary excitement?

It is Clarissa he said.

For there she was."

from Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf

scoop the goop

if you want the scoop on gwyneth, you go to goop. i love chris martin, and for that reason i love gwyneth palthrow. she's seems nice, in a sweet sort of way. but, i think 'goop' is not a cool name for a website. i think i get the logic - (gwyneth + scoop = goop) but somehow it does not digest well in my mind.

anyway, apart from ranting about the name, the site is good. and it has a lot of personal articles that won't necessarily interest all celeb stalkers. it's a lifestyle page of someone who's pretty, rich and famous AND has a rockstar husband. not forgetting that she gave birth to (an) apple and moses.

heres a list of pages i found particularly interesting, heartwarming, or useful

GO- Paris
her father said to her "I wanted you to see Paris for the first time with a man who would always love you, no matter what."

BE- Watch your words

avoid the 'evil tongue'

MAKE- Detox (excellent article)

detox with yummy food and no starvation

i hope these will keep you busy. i found them interesting and subscribed to the newsletter. i hope they (the website people) decide to change the name of the site, or atleast offer a better explanation of its existence.

i am off to compose another junbox entry, so i bid you goodnight!

sleep well my friends,

amelie

itchy fingers and irony

all my best ideas are born when i'm doing the most mundane of tasks. and somehow, it escapes me to write it down. so here i am, trying to recollect what important idea i wanted to share... ooh!

that was fast. anyways, after the conversation yesterday, on logos and business cards, i did some research. and like all research i start off with, i found something irrelevant but interesting. a good ad website with a good ad.. ha :)

http://adsoftheworld.com/media/print/telmex_video_security?size=_original

other things on my mind were, packing, writing, composing the song that hasn't been composed yet, updating the junkbox, and ofcourse blurting out my views on mrs. dalloway and how much i love her.

au revoir mes amis,
amelie

come... and burn your heart away

come... and burn your heart away
Originally uploaded by insee

reflecting on the past 7 days, i've realised that life does change. mine has been fluctuating like my bank balance. riding on a full tank of happiness and high on sun, sea and smiles.

i've discovered that there is such a thing as 'lightning wax' by diana king. developed my first lomo roll. i've tasted presshafruit juice from a triangular bottle. i've found the perfect foundation, crème and powder. finally got the perfect blush tint. i'm progressing en française. i've been on 2 budget airlines and i've been driven 1.5 hours on a motorbike/scooter to the airport. seen some beautiful seascapes. drunk chilled coconut on a burning hot day. not to mention i've had yummy food. sour sour mangoes with chilli. and i've been somewhere where the sleaze meter is so high that it made me feel safe.

all that's left to do now? go up in smoke.

au revoir,
amelie

ex-po-zay!

ex-po-zay!

[unfortunately i don't have the little french accent on my keyboard for correct spelling, so bear with the phonetics.]

but that's what facebook is pretty much good at doing. somehow i wonder why im part of this vicious circle. as a piece of advice, every time you add or change a network, you need to change your privacy settings too. else, bear with "ex-po-zay!"

it's scary to know how many people will have access to personal information when your profile is "at large" in a network. needless to say, everyone knows this bullshit, but i was the victim here and i felt the moment of fear/"oh shit!"

more along the lines of exposure, the SIPF opening was today. an amazing event. lot's of important and interesting people. most of all, amazing photo stories. anyone can take great photographs, it only takes skill. to make this art, you need meaning- a narrative. this is what i saw at the works displayed today. photography that extends a moment through many still frames, divulging enough and concealing more. then you have your imagination/logic to fill in the rest. for a taste of this please go down (or rather "up") to take a look at the works.[www.sipf.com.sg]

"Where have you been when you were really comfortable inside your skin?" - Paul Kohl

there are plenty of fringe events going on during the sipf. so do enjoy!

another note on "ex-po-zay!". i've gotten used to this feature on the mac. i totally miss this on my pc. and now i end up squishing the sides of my mouse hoping to see my desktop.

au revoir for now!

amelie

running in heels with a dagger in my hand!

this is the sort of expression that is going catch people's attention. and being in this lackadaisical couldn't care less phase of life, i would say achievement is a must. the problem is that there is no single plan. there are many. like a child entranced, each new experience, outlook and opportunity becomes exciting, eye-opening, and almost obsessive. it is the idea of an idea that can keep this wandering spirit alive.

walking down the cobbled path (yes the path is cobbled. this is not a random phrase from an old english tale) in killer red stilettos, i burst into song. this sort of enthusiasm isn't normal in a sobered down, knackered soul like me. but yes, these random moments do happen, and when they do, there is a need for an explanation. excitement wears off from novelty. this splash of energy resonates from an enticing 4 days in a country not my own (although i wish it were) and not my adopted home either. a first timer in any city is always awe struck. hk for that matter, was all my architecture case studies coming to life. the congestion, the shopping avenues, the classiness, the age and the dirt all combined into one was a wonderfully refreshing. the urbanity and the density of such a vibrant city was what i needed to see. the activity available in hk is another emotion altogether. and so i have begun another urban love affair along with a thirst to see and touch new places.

if you were to consider the elements that define me, i would find it hard to pin point any particular characteristic. some things at the top of my head would be;
1. colourful or pointy shoes (sometimes both)
2. make up
3. exquisite and exotic food that looks pretty (not necessarily expensive and usually very safe)
4.long aimless walks (camera in hand)
5. discovery (usually of places)
6. bright pink, red and more recently lime green
7.tea

feel free to add to the list. im usually the worst at judging myself. fickle it may seem, but it is an experience cherished. a personality explored and a phase enjoyed or overcome. this is what i feel life is about; transition and the jabs, bolts and ecstasy that's embedded in the package.

so i must say, for a wanderer like me, until the i find solid ground to stand on (or for that matter if someone decides to lend me some), i simply choose to live this moment chasing every penchant idea; beautiful like a butterfly trying to reach the sky!

strange gentlemen

on the bus ride home today i happened to sit beside an elderly man. he excused himself and asked me where i am from. not an unusual question but it quite unusual for conversation in a bus. such situations are extremely intimidating. however, this gentleman and along with his two other comrades were a class apart from the modern man. unlike their contemporary counterparts, the golden oldies have manners and they have respect.

i wouldn't advise anyone to willingly speak to elderly men (especially young girls) on a bus, but this seemed like a one off case of sincerity. they bid goodbye when they alighted, all of them at different stops. the last one to alight even complimented me. this generosity of spirit is hard to come by. but i must say, such encounters do make life bearable.

-ism it unnecessary?

Due to the apparent lack of intellectual activity (in my brain), i have resolved to use more '-isms' in my day to day conversation.

Such random acts of feigned intellectual superiority do work in society. When people don't understand you or your vocabulary, they assume that you are smart. Well, the yuppies at least. There's the other fraction who aren't able to imagine any level of cognition that could be above theirs, and mind you, they barely made it through secondary school (do excuse my vicious generalisations, but for the purpose of writing something i need to enforce a biased view of the world)

Let's move on to the fraction who honestly do believe that their intellectual capacities surpass normal cognition, but unlike the mass ignorant population, they do have academic documentation to prove that their cognitive skills are of a relatively high standard...(aka university students who do a postmortem of life, before it is even over)

For this, we will have to take into consideration how behaviour is usually defined. All the -isms in this world are fabrications of the 'intellectual' mind. I mean, if there were no '-isms' in our vocabulary, arts faculties would be short of a department. Many people would be rendered jobless, and uneducated. In a bizarre -ism less existence, the only probable -ism would be magnetism. Imagine, an existence based on life minus the excessive nepotism, hedonism, perfectionism, asceticism, egalitarianism, dualism, sexism, feminism, rationalism, pluralism. Imagine a simpler society, with a simplified understanding of human thought and behaviour. Imagine the clarity.
It's the complications and definitions that we introduce, that gnaw our souls and distort our perspective, driving us away from life itself. When you concentrate on categorising and analysing the meaning and value of life, you miss out on the experience of life.

Ultimately, knowledge is judged by pens, papers, prints and perception. Which is why books that are published, theses written, debates held and whatever other academic documentation you may find on such topics, are never able to conclude on anything, but add the title 'intellectual' to many a person's ego. But i wonder why waste your time analysing and supposing, or rethinking, when eventually, your brain cells just ran around the block?

Wisdom on the other hand, is experience based. More applicable to survival in life. Sadly, no one seems to grow old enough to achieve true wisdom these days.

My bitchiness has been worn out, so i shall discontinue this pointless purposeless act of posting. As a disclaimer, I do enjoy senseless discussions on seemingly intellectual topics. Although, from experience, by being inconclusive, no one really achieves anything.

kulture

Mood: saturday night fever
Song: negotiator opening theme
Newest infatuation: bed head hair care
Secretly craving: an ipod radio accesorie
Wish i were... amelie

So since last week i have watched Amelie, the movie, bought a BED HEAD leave in conditioner and planned a trip to thailand. Also i have discovered myself as a person. I am infact a living, breathing creature, who is an extrapolation of Amelie, the character. It is an epiphany of the greatest sort when you realise you define what is 'cool'. Pop culture is not a bad thing, it benefits anthropologists as they have current material to analyse and write about, however, for those who follow it blindly, it is like driving through a tunnel with no end.

For instance, when you want to conform to society's expectations of what is cool and what isn't you it is a conscious decision that you make where you put a certain groups ideas on a pedestal. There is always a king/queen pin and his/her life is what you epitomise and strive to be. In short you crush the real person inside you in order to go with the flow and and make your existence mere plagiarism. It can be argued that the celebrities and icons of the world are responsible for creating such a fan base. I dont discredit their works as artistes and i appreciate their exhibition of style and awe. But when you see that not only do they have a fan base, but a whole 'cult' of followers it becomes quite disturbing.

For instance, from where i come, RnB and Hip Hop are the songs to die for. Clubs, and everything cool has them blasting on their sound systems. I do not question the artistes creative skills (although i think they could be more respectful of women) but they accumulate a huge band of asian 'african american' wannabes trailing behind them. For instance slang unique to this culture is seeping into the culture of our communities and replaces what we have with something imported... This stamps out creativity and originality in individuals. It also curbs the progress of the culture of our country because we idolise something that is not necessarily the best thing for us. It becomes a case of blatant wannabeism.

However, anthropologists may argue that it is human nature that is indeed responsible for 'wannabeism' throughout the history of man. For example the romans imitated the greeks, and in fact to have a culture, people must conform in some way or another. But, there should be room for individualism, to preserve the mind and sanity. Taking the romans, they started by imitating greeks but they built upon it and created a magnificient culture of their own. People should learn to question and think for themselves and intelligently be able to accept and reject aspects of their lives. We are a logical species. The mind must be exercised and it should not be crippled with the existence of an overbearing culture.

There will always be many pied pipers in the world. Corporations, celebrities, leaders, peers and what ever else may come to your mind. But as people, we have the upper hand. We can choose, adopt, and build upon.

Getting back to where i stand. Right now i am a victim of retail culture. Shopping, for things you may not need indeed is a weakness. Which i have come to accept because it does harm me. I have developed a liking for the finer things in life, which nonetheless, are a little above my means. Although i must admit, i am not trying to conform, but the marketing and presentation of certain products appeal to me and i tend to fall into the target markets of these corporations. For instance clinique and bed head. I do agree that i am happy with the products i have been using so far, and what i needed what i bought. But since i have fulfilled all my needs why do i want to purchase more? why do i want to qualify for their special gifts etc. That is the calling of the retail culture where uneccesary wants have been made into needs. This is what i have to fight to stay sane. The consequences of conforming would be tremendously detrimental to by development as a reasonable person, and not to forget the opportunity cost of the $$ i bust away.

Enough banter. Thailand will be a change that i need. The holiday i never had. Time spent with friends. Adventure and excitement. A refresher course to what really matters in life.

au revoir,
Amelie