the mental blog

it has been a good so many months since i've visited my own blog. partly because i've been living in a whirlwind that is 'oh so totally' wrapped around me, me and me. this accentuated selfworth seems to originate from the time i have become too busy/tired to sleep, cook and some times eat. i do not condone such a lifestyle, but it has its rewards, even if it does not show up on the teller.

coping is quite difficult, as usual with a shrinking bank balance, hectic lifestyle and new abode. marking territories, boundaries and achievements hardly afford the time to write about the dialogues that run in my wired up mind. which is what brings me to the mental blog.

at the end of each day, i seem to need to 'wrap up' the events and conclude all the happenings on my way home. this monologue runs in my mind, right about the time i start to head back. sort of like a mental blog, with many many interesting and sarcastic jokes worthy of sharing. however the hitch is when i finally reach home, after the routine facebook and email checking, i shut down the computer and lie in bed. the interesting anecdotes of the day die an oblivious death as my eyelids drop and i fall asleep.

how many of you have got stuck in this infinite loop of almost non-existence? it is not something to be unhappy about, but i'm sure it is something of great concern to anthropologists and sociologists alike..

come... and burn your heart away

come... and burn your heart away
Originally uploaded by insee

reflecting on the past 7 days, i've realised that life does change. mine has been fluctuating like my bank balance. riding on a full tank of happiness and high on sun, sea and smiles.

i've discovered that there is such a thing as 'lightning wax' by diana king. developed my first lomo roll. i've tasted presshafruit juice from a triangular bottle. i've found the perfect foundation, crème and powder. finally got the perfect blush tint. i'm progressing en française. i've been on 2 budget airlines and i've been driven 1.5 hours on a motorbike/scooter to the airport. seen some beautiful seascapes. drunk chilled coconut on a burning hot day. not to mention i've had yummy food. sour sour mangoes with chilli. and i've been somewhere where the sleaze meter is so high that it made me feel safe.

all that's left to do now? go up in smoke.

au revoir,
amelie

I have red and yellow fingernails!

And, I bought lime green and orange shoes.

Lime green shoes have been on my list for a long time... I'm only worried that I'm starting to resemble some sort of macaw with this new fascination of avian mating colours.

Anyhow, painting my nails was fun. Almost artistic. Trying to get this squiggly curve to turn out right, with just the right amount of red and yellow was an utterly rewarding experience. As a first timer with creative nail painting, more so on myself, the little bits of keratin on my fingers turned into a temporary canvas for a walking exhibition of abstract art. I quite like it though. If not for the sloppiness inherent in my left hand (I'm right handed) I would say they are pretty perfect... Hah, enough about that...

I have also been looking for the perfect economic, colourful, stylish, well printed organiser. There are many interesting ones, the one I took a liking to was the Monologue 2009 A6 diary that comes in pink, white, black and purple. Unfortunately, I need an organiser, which tends to be more flexible. So my search continues.

still water

i've always liked maksim. i wen't out to buy coldplay but instead i got a compilation of orchestral and classical songs. i'm not regretting it, but somehow my desires are always open to interpretation. my new earphones also afford me this choice. somehow music sounds so much better through them. now all i need is an ultra expensive sound system to satisfy me.

while we are on the subject of whims and nonsensical fancies, i must point out to you i have way more than i can handle. some may seem lucrative, some whimsical, some indulgent and many nonsensical. nonetheless they all afford me this satisfaction of believing that it is all achievable.

in an area as limited as this, occupation is a must. usually my sort of personal occupation tends to burn a hole in my wallet so i've listed down a couple of things that you can do here that won't drive you broke before payday.

1. read: the library is free. (just return the books on time)
2. exercise: apart from saving transportation costs, your circulation improves
3. paint: the walls if you have to. eases your mind so you can save counseling costs.
4. drink water: it's not free but its cheap. warm water also helps you lose weight.
5. avoid shopping malls: most important rule. if you must go there, leave all your cards behind and carry only limited cash.

i think these tips should come in handy now, since the whole world is pretty worried about the new born recession. it's not about being stingy, its about saving on fringe costs. there are many more but because i have a headache i shall leave you till the next time.

au revoir,
amelie

headrush

after nearly 2 years of total inactivity, a day of not so strenuous exercise can be detrimental. after stretching, twisting, turning, and ultimately relaxing at my first yoga class in years, i feel sleepy.

yups, a total anticlimax, but im just tired and sleepy.

there are still a million things on my to do list that are hardly getting the attention they deserve.

my couch is still dirty and uncomfortable and the housing agent refuses to pick up the phone.

my toilet needs a revamp and the plumber is MIA.

i need a desk to sprawl out my laptop and all its appendages.

i need a dresser and a mirror so i can practice my beauty regime every morning before it becomes compulsory.

i also need a new mattress...

and i need to finish unpacking.

on top of it all, yoga is supposed to help me relax. but i almost blacked out at the class today. and it was only a beginners lesson. my level of fitness has reached a rock bottom -2.

with all this tiredness i need to force myself to write something on this blog so that i can ward away all the dating and find your match ads that pop up on the google ad bar. this is not an adult dating site.

i hope it works. and i hope you click on them. so that i can go buy myself a new couch, desk, dresser, toilet, and so on.

from a very sleepy insee,
adieu

of pillows, films and transportation

i am extremely excited about my new bicycle. It's all shiny and squeaky and everything cool about being new :). one slight hitch though... scroll down to understand....

i seem to be in an extremely good mood, in a yippa-dee-doo-dah sort of way. i watched the pillowman yesterday. totally gruesome, brutally funny and an excellent work of art. i also got to see adrian up close (but not so personal) so maybe thats where the high-ness is rubbing off from.

Thai Express + B&J ice-cream for dinner. Couldn't ask for a better day =)

the siff is going on. and the blursotong that i am, happened to hear of it only now. which means most of the shows i want to watch are full up. totally sucks. but im determined to go watch something thought provoking (or atleast action provoking). my brain's been on holiday for too long now.

AND THE MOMENT YOU (MORE LIKE I) HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!
The birth of my new bike. I should be going down to purchase it and ride it home this friday. its a year overdue, but unlike carrying babies, these things tend to incubate for longer, especially since their coming into being is dosh-dependant.

other things on my (cheapskate) list of things to do

movie marathon- breakfast at tiffanys, rebel without a cause
create body scrubs out of thin air
paint with my pre-purchased set of paints
kick some balls (read as play sports)
take some awesome photographs, with my new camera (in incubation right now)

alrighty then,
i shall too-da-loo
and goodnight to you!
my dears

kulture

Mood: saturday night fever
Song: negotiator opening theme
Newest infatuation: bed head hair care
Secretly craving: an ipod radio accesorie
Wish i were... amelie

So since last week i have watched Amelie, the movie, bought a BED HEAD leave in conditioner and planned a trip to thailand. Also i have discovered myself as a person. I am infact a living, breathing creature, who is an extrapolation of Amelie, the character. It is an epiphany of the greatest sort when you realise you define what is 'cool'. Pop culture is not a bad thing, it benefits anthropologists as they have current material to analyse and write about, however, for those who follow it blindly, it is like driving through a tunnel with no end.

For instance, when you want to conform to society's expectations of what is cool and what isn't you it is a conscious decision that you make where you put a certain groups ideas on a pedestal. There is always a king/queen pin and his/her life is what you epitomise and strive to be. In short you crush the real person inside you in order to go with the flow and and make your existence mere plagiarism. It can be argued that the celebrities and icons of the world are responsible for creating such a fan base. I dont discredit their works as artistes and i appreciate their exhibition of style and awe. But when you see that not only do they have a fan base, but a whole 'cult' of followers it becomes quite disturbing.

For instance, from where i come, RnB and Hip Hop are the songs to die for. Clubs, and everything cool has them blasting on their sound systems. I do not question the artistes creative skills (although i think they could be more respectful of women) but they accumulate a huge band of asian 'african american' wannabes trailing behind them. For instance slang unique to this culture is seeping into the culture of our communities and replaces what we have with something imported... This stamps out creativity and originality in individuals. It also curbs the progress of the culture of our country because we idolise something that is not necessarily the best thing for us. It becomes a case of blatant wannabeism.

However, anthropologists may argue that it is human nature that is indeed responsible for 'wannabeism' throughout the history of man. For example the romans imitated the greeks, and in fact to have a culture, people must conform in some way or another. But, there should be room for individualism, to preserve the mind and sanity. Taking the romans, they started by imitating greeks but they built upon it and created a magnificient culture of their own. People should learn to question and think for themselves and intelligently be able to accept and reject aspects of their lives. We are a logical species. The mind must be exercised and it should not be crippled with the existence of an overbearing culture.

There will always be many pied pipers in the world. Corporations, celebrities, leaders, peers and what ever else may come to your mind. But as people, we have the upper hand. We can choose, adopt, and build upon.

Getting back to where i stand. Right now i am a victim of retail culture. Shopping, for things you may not need indeed is a weakness. Which i have come to accept because it does harm me. I have developed a liking for the finer things in life, which nonetheless, are a little above my means. Although i must admit, i am not trying to conform, but the marketing and presentation of certain products appeal to me and i tend to fall into the target markets of these corporations. For instance clinique and bed head. I do agree that i am happy with the products i have been using so far, and what i needed what i bought. But since i have fulfilled all my needs why do i want to purchase more? why do i want to qualify for their special gifts etc. That is the calling of the retail culture where uneccesary wants have been made into needs. This is what i have to fight to stay sane. The consequences of conforming would be tremendously detrimental to by development as a reasonable person, and not to forget the opportunity cost of the $$ i bust away.

Enough banter. Thailand will be a change that i need. The holiday i never had. Time spent with friends. Adventure and excitement. A refresher course to what really matters in life.

au revoir,
Amelie