Lolita

Mood of the moment:dazed
Song that i can't get rid of:the Harvey Norman ad
Movie on my mind:Pan's labyrinth
Newest infatuation:nausea medication
Secretly craving:serenity
Wish i were...if only i knew.

Walking home today, in front of me was a girl, probably my age, wearing a t-shirt that read "Gothic Lolita". how appalling, and of all statements, i would say that is the most perverse.

but then again, it is a free world. you do/say what you want to for the sake of fashion.

right now, my temperatures boiling, and I've been puking out my lunch. it totally doesn't help that the first thing i see when i get home is a creature resembling Shrek. honestly i do think Shrek is much cooler, but then he doesn't exist. this abominable, race car loving, lard-filled creature does.

I've realised that when things don't really go your way, or when they seem to be totally out of control, you need a face to place the anger on. for a long time now I've been battling my good sense and the sense of necessity and I've realised that ultimately, no one really gives a shit about how you feel. it's about life and how you deal with it. because as human beings, there's no such thing as selflessness. it's a concept. you may think you see it or you may seem to have it, but inevitably, your selflessness is derived from your selfishness. you are selfless because you can't stand to see another person in pain. you are selfless because you feel the pain, the anger and the agony of another. but ultimately, when you respond to your selfless feelings, your actions are selfish. whether you would want to admit it or not, you protect yourself first. ironically, by relieving someone else's pain, you're easing your own. so as human beings, our instinct for survival is the 'self', in a raw, animal-like way.