Monday, November 28, 2005

more about me

Something that came in the mail....

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Insiyah
2. Insi
3. spider
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. insi
2. insee
3. synusoidal_personality
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. eyes
2. hair
3. smile
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. legs
2. butt
3. tummy
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. death
2. crowds
3. geckos
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. internet
2. phone
3. food
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. beige trousers
2. pink top
3. red slippers
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. radiohead
2. jack johnson
3. blur
and a hell of a lot more...
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS: (for now)
1. Blur- Tender
2. White Christmas
3. The Killers- Mr. Brightside
2 TRUTHS 1 LIE:
I love ice cream i love colours and im crazy about peter andre! (go figure
the lie)
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. eyes
2. smile
3. hands
THREE THINGS (BESIDE PHYSICAL) ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPREAL TO YOU
1. attentiveness
2. being considerate
3. intellectual conversation
FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. photography
2. painting
3. shopping
4. sleeping
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. go shopping for shoes
2. get a haircut
3. clean up the mess in my room
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. architecture
2. flying planes
3. travel photographer (my dream job!)
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. turkey
2. greece
3. sibu
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. bungee jumping
2. travel to all the continents
3. get married and have kids
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. i dont brush my hair
2. i dont wear makeup
3. i have a messy room
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. i love pink!
2. i love earrings
3. i cry a lot
THREE (opposite gender) CELEB CRUSHES:
1. adam brody (the OC)
2. orlando bloom
3. matt bellamy (MUSE)
THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
the x, the s and the v

memoirs from kl

Mood: satisfied
Song: mr brightside
Newest infatuation: clubbing
Secretly craving: a decent haircut
Wish i were... a better dancer!

Ok so now im back from malaysia, kl to be more specific, and sipping on a can of coke and reading saving fish from drowning by amy tan. Im planning to get a haircut in the near future and will be gng for harry potter tomoro! But bak to the more important stuff, like what happend in kl! hehe

So day one:
woke up early, took a cab to golden mile and was super excited. The bus ride was long but when your on the way to your holiday destination it doesnt really bug u. We took pics n pics of ourselves, some turned out pretty cool too!
The bus went via second link so immigration was really easy and more importantly, fast...
Finally we arrived in kl, and honestly i was really excited, in a way it felt good to be out of the rigidity and uniformity of singapore. a refreshing change.
First thing we did was buy the tix bak, chek into our rooms and then go eat!! we were so famished! so our first lunch (as u can see) was in lot 10 foodcourt. the food was ok, good but not great, but the best feeling was the fact that we had a choice of what to eat. no more running to the indian and malay stalls only... we could actually eat what we wanted to. so, i had thai (no surprises there). Then as normal huan beings, or girls more like it, we hit the shops. And no doubt each of us had something in our bags! I bought a white belt, somethin id been craving for sometime... the best part, it makes my waist look slightly thinner (cos the belts thin hehe). So thank God for optical illusions.

The next thing we did was get a foot and back massage. It was simply awesome. I felt parts of my feet that i never felt before (cos they hurt!). But it was a great way to get pampered. The back massage was good too. Thank goodness the lady massaged me, else i would hav felt completely awkward.

After a shower and getting dressed, we went bak to lot then to buy the gold bags.The rest of the day/evening we spent at klcc and eventually had dinner (mr teppenyaki, we were too tired to photograph it!) and watched a movie. Valiant, the carrier pigeon... a super british comedy which was amazingly cute at the same time. Definitely knocks the eggs off chicken little. :-p

So for some after dinner fun we went to planet hollywood fer dessert. Amazing yummy ice cream... and we actually danced to a coupla songs before this sudda tried to break our trinity heheh... More accurately, we danced till everyone was off the floor... the dance floor was empty except for a drunken group of friends... hehe...So then we scooted off to our rooms and gossipped, chatted and photoslutted till we dozed off....

The next day S woke up at 8 due to the clock that lives inside of her, and so we were all up and out by abt 930... we had breakfast at the indian coffeeshop place... the teh tarik was really good... :) So , immediately after breakfast, we hit the shops again. This time at BB Plaza. I made my most significant purchase there... earrings!!! Cute and colourful and simply me hehe...!! After a while we went back to klcc, to shop this time. So many cute shops there but i ended up with nothing really... But lunch was nice too.. Arabic, or atleast faux arabic. :-P... After that we did some serious shopping at Isetan, picked up a couple of cute tshirts, fell in love with a jersey jacket that dint fit, and desperately looked for a black top. After the depressing yet funky shopping from there we went bak to lot ten to grab a coupla things we'd seen before. I ended up buyin a black top with red thingies in front. Am gonna wear it for the next clubbing event hehe.

After that we went to the .... market. I cant remember the name of the place, but thats where u can get all the baju kurongs and kebayas. It was nice to see the unglitzy part of kl. it reminded me of pettah. a nicer version tho. We took the bus back to lot 10. The ride was interesting cos it gave us a tour of the central part of kl... very much like fort and pettah. There was some sort of nostalgia. Finally we got off in the middle of the road (something we usually do in lanka land) and dumped our stuff in the room before we headed out again...

Our next destination was times square. At first the place seemed so huge and voluminous, it felt like a waste of space, but once u get used to it you realise that although u can get lost, u feel that u can breathe there. We did a bit of last minit shopping... i bought the black top with sequins... i just love that top! Dinner was at kenny rodgers... nice for a change... We kept feeling the rollercoaster as the whole place was vibrating.. it got a bit irritating... When S n W went to the loo they came across a whole row of restaurants that we simply missed seeing... so we vowed to come bak there the next day for lunch. The last purchase of the day was the pink purse. A bit dirty but hopefully that can be gotten rid of. Or atleast it wont be seen. *fingers crossed* By then we were so freaking tired instead of walking back, we took the train (or monorail). Its this cute little thing that looks like an lrt. So effectively in the day we experienced all forms of kl transport.

Once we were back we rested for a while and waited to get ready to go to zouk. God's kitchen was gonna be playing and although we dint know who the heck the were we were quite excited to go. J J M K n R all came down specifically for this show so it was bound to be a good experience. But, once we were all glitzd up and ready to go there was a traffic jam. Imagine a jam at 1130 in the nite? So naturally we were all pissed off but we ended up having a nice chat with the driver. Finally when we went there, it was a super anticlimax. S forgot her ID and the bouncers were being really strict about entrance. So naturally she got pissed and we all made a detour back to the hotel to get her passport. Lucky for us the cab driver was smart and took us through the highway and so we managed to get bak in half an hour. Apparently they were being strict cos the cops had raided the place the nite before and found lotsa underage ppl. But we dint know this at the time so i guess it was reasonable to get pissed. But one lesson to learn is, go nowhere without id... for clubbin atleast.

But eventually we were in. We bought tix for velvet and zouk, but ended up not going to velvet cos zouk was indeed awesome. It took me about 45 minutes to loosen up but after mr brightside i suddenly felt connected with the music... and after that, it was pure fun. Eventually we went up to the front stage and danced like crazy on that small peice of stage but it was good fun. There were a few hitches like the big fat guy who gave me his namecard, but once that was thrown away, and once J (a guy) litterally gave him the butt the loser dude was outta site. S got smitten for this cute green guy... and took a pic with him. He was cute tho... really quite cute. It was so easy to get lost in the music and everyone was having a great time. I had an awesome time. Never in my life had i felt this comfortable in a club before (not like i'd been clubbing much) but it was like being unleashed. I suppose its the company and the fact that u know no one else but your friends. At the end of it all the dj was throwing out tshirts n cds. R got a tshirt and J got a cd, and i almost got a tshirt, but i got a scratch instead. The arabian dude who was dancing sluttily wit a girl he'd just met snatched the tshirt from me... The effing b!

So the nite eventually ended, everyone had a good time and we went to buy food cos we were freakin hungry. I needed to buy antiseptic too. Finally we came back, showered and hit the sacks. Man were we tired.

The next morning S woke up at 8, as usual, and went back to sleep. I woke up, put meds on my knees and went bak to sleep. The next thing i know it was ten thirty and time to pack. My things were a mess. I had no idea what i had bought and where they were. So it took time to get organised. Finally everything was in the bag. But i had this feeling that i had left something behind. But after checking the room thoroughly, i was satisfied that all my precious shoppin was indeed inside my bag and so we checked out of the rooms.

As promised we went back to times square for lunch, had Baoz paus. I usually dont like paus, but these were really yummy. We had thai steamboat for lunch. We couldnt figure out where the thai part came in, but the steamboat was yummy. I ate till i could burst. After that we went on another round of last minit shopping. I dont think i bought anything. But i was looking for shoes, but i decided to come bak to sing and get a decent pair. I bought more chewing gum and then we were off to get our bags and go to the bus stop.

Our bus was supposed to leave at 330, and boarding began at 3. But at 330 there was still no sign of the bus. We spent our time buying fruits like jumboo, raw mangoes and ambarellas. I had finally satisfied my cravings for these fruits. :) So while i was preoccupied eating all of these yummy things, the bus driver came and escorted us to the road where the bus was waiting. It had gotten late so couldnt get bak in the queue. We boarded the bus, relieved that we were out of the steamy hot and sweaty station.

We were damn tired, after all the shopping and the dancing and the lack of sleep. While i was listning to S's ipod, i dozed off. I remember the moment i dozed off. I could feel my eyes shut, the earplug drop out of my ear and then after that everything was a blank. The next thing i remember is that it was 630 and we were in the middle of a highway with foliage on either side. Wf told us that we had stopped a coupla times but i couldnt remember anything of it. I had been in a deep sleep. In a bus that s a bit bouncy and jerky i must have been really tired to sleep so soundly. It was about an hour before we stopped again, and this time we all needed to pee badly. But yucks, the toilet was the grossest toilet id seen. Even worse than the indian toilets in the remote villages. There was puke everywhere and it smelled terrible. But when u gotta pee u gotta pee. So after that disaster we went to buy our dinner. Burger Ramly it was. Awesome burgers that really tasted healthy. Potato wedges, corn and chik peas to go with it and u have a western meal. But this was really yummy. It was waffles with blueberry and peanut butter fer dessert. We bought some of the fish crackers from the mart and off we went into the bus.

On the way back we jabbered and slept until we came to Johor. It was a messy place. I had no idea where it started and where it ended. We went through immigration which was another debacle, on both sides. In malaysian immigration there was this long messy queue and people kept nudging us to go to the top of it. Its damn pissing off when old men lie to go thru a queue. Especially when they try to get their hands on u. To top things off, S had lost her white card, probly at zouk, and was pissed off already. So that the old lecher got a well desrved peice of her mind. But in the end all was ok and we were out of malaysia. In singapore immigration, just before we entered the building, a siren went off and the place was under red alert. Some idiot probably tried to smuggle something illegal into the place. I mean illegal in singapore, you're bound to get caught. You've gotta be really stupid to even try it. So the doors were all locked and we were standing outside for a good 20 minutes. Finally when they did open, things were quite smooth sailing. Wf went home directly from there and S and i got back into the bus for the last few minutes of the ride. It felt rather long, cos the bus driver dint know where the stop was. Ironic as it was the passengers had to direct him where to go. But eventually we reached golden mile n S n i said our goodbyes and i was in a cab on my way bak to nus... It was an ironic end to the trip cos i left my sweater in the cab.

To sum everything up, the trip was awesome. We had good fun shopping, eating, talking and clubbing. We learnt a lot about culture, the subtle difference between places and people, and more importantly, how to get along with each other. It was an enriching experience that has left me feeling more independent, more confident, and more capable. For a person with little self esteem, a trip like this can do wonders; more effective than shaped eyebrows. We were lucky to be safe all the while, and even though there were little glitches along the way, we lived and learned through them, and most importantly, had fun.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

ah freedom, finally


Mood: excited
Song: maybe tomorrow
Newest infatuation: vs 9 in 1 hairstyler
Secretly craving: ive got everything i need:)
Wish i were...

I wonder why women put themselves through the pain of plucking out eyebrow hair. i mean, if no one did it, it wouldnt make a diff so everyone would be beautiful. but no, human beings are vain and they take great pleasure in making themselves a tad bit more pretty than they already are. who am i to complain. i do the same thing.

so anyway after the 10 minutes of torture i feel more confident and honestly, i feel good about myself. the next item on my vain list is the vs 9 in 1 hairstyler. I can't seem to find a pic of it so u'll just hav to imagine this little gadget that can straighten, crimp, curl and twirl your hair. And thats just some of the things i remember, it does a whole lot more plus u get those fummy little salon clips and a comb or something. The best part yet? Its only 45$. No wonder im so bent on buying it. Ok so i shall stop advertising now... I can't wait to use it. Its beena while since ive had long hair and im sick of boring long hair. I mean long hair is cool, but i look boring with it. So thats something to perk things up :).

Yesterdays paper was ok. I mean i wasn expecting something easier but it was manageable. Although you really cant say how well u did until the results are out so im having my fingers crossed. It's really weird to have nothing to do when people are rushing about worrying about and talking about exams. So its kinda a good thing that im going to malaysia tomoro. I've been here for 2 years and i still havent been to kl so its about time eh... Im kinda excited. Although to most people its a mundane thing, (i bet sibu island would have been a more adventurous) but theres always that element of adventure wherever you may end up going. Plus its an all girl thing so we're bound to have a good time.

So lets dramaticise this:
When tomoro dawns, ill be off... on a bus to kl... *anticlimax*
Okies me off to do laundry... :)

Monday, November 21, 2005

transition

(painting is from Glib Vysheslavsky)

Mood: im actually happy
Song: teardrop
Newest infatuation: my history text book
Secretly craving: sour mangoes and chilli
Wish i were... sleeping

Sometimes i wonder why i let people walk all over me and trample me. I like to please people, within my limits, and i have the biggest vice of never being able to say 'no'. It's brought me into a lot of shit, and makes me feel terrible about myself cos no one really appreciates the fact tht i care therefore i do.

So then why do i try to make a drunk fren look a bit more decent by removing his glass from the pic? Especially if its an unappreciated effort? I've known the dude for quite a while, and i always feel this way... completely taken for granted. Yet, i still choose to please. I think its about time i stop getting angry with myself and doing wat i want to do. It's not worth the trouble and the pain. The worst feeling in this world is to feel completely unappreciated. And people who make you feel like that deserve a smack in the face.

But i guess this is coupled with jealousy. I mean transitions occur all the time, you expect them to too. But, when they happen you gotta take it with a pinch of salt. Hopefully, whether everything turns out ok or not, you're gonna be the same person. Its not ur life thats in jeopardy, so dont worry. Plus, its an interesting event that draws too many parallels to ur own life. Especially the receiving end. Lets just hope the irony stops there.

Since i really dont talk much about people, and the main issues of my weirdness these days ARE indeed people, ive got nothing more to say.

Friday, November 18, 2005

from athens to florence

Mood: apathetic
Song:
Newest infatuation: its still House
Secretly craving: im actually satisfied :-s
Wish i were... in a land of peace

Sometimes you get the feeling that there is no real choice. For example in my history paper i only felt capable of answering one question. But i HAD to answer 2. So obviously i chose the question that i felt more capable of answering.

When you choose a leader, your pretty much in the same position. Most of the time because you don't know how the guys gonna turn out. But you gotta choose anyway... so how do u choose? When you're in deep shit its never easy to get out of it. Its always gonna be a task, like the essay you gotta write. You take the choice that best suits the situation and your capabilities. In the case of choosing leaders, theres another dimension; leaders can talk. When they talk, they usually tell us what we want to hear, because only then can they get what they want. But true leaders, tell you what you NEED, and then theyll tell you what they plan to do to achieve this. Life's never easy, and when you're in deep shit you need a plan. We can go back to the essay... you can only think of writing a decent essay if you have a plan, and you can have a decent plan only if you know something about the topic you want to write.

So why then in these desperate times do we go looking for a person who's gonna give you wat u want, and not wat u NEED? Life's never easy. You gotta sort out problems from the root. You can't get your way by going over the surface. When you have no money how on earth do u plan to give subsidies? Before thinking of a better life, you've gotta get your team bak on their feet.

The whole episode has been disappointing. It just shows how much patriotism you have. When theres a choice for a better world, you screw it up with a choice thats better for you.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

coward | me myself and insi

Mood: numb
Song: teardrop
Newest infatuation: HOUSE M.D.
Secretly craving: fries
Wish i were... in a farway land in a faraway place where everything was sweet... and sour...

OK so this is how i take the shit. Get trampled with my spleen spewed across the floor. The indignity and the shame of such an act. But oh well, somethings do infact change. People u care about may not care about u anymore, and maybe they direct the care somewhere else. Its never easy to be replaced. And we all know that. Its the insecurity and the bitterness of the fact that someone may actually be better at this than you are. Smart people can admit to their ignorance or their deficiencies. Arrogant ones gnaw themselves away at the thought that someone out there is and may be trying to be like you. But these fears are unfounded. Theyre merely concoctions of your overworked or underworked mind. Whatever it maybe, we're still human. What differentiates the good from the bad are the ones who are able to care about peopl other than themselves for a change. To me i think thats one move in the righter direction.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

calvin my dear....



Mood: determined
Song: silence
Newest infatuation: calvin and hobbes (more like a rennaisance)
Secretly craving: fries
Wish i were...a superstar! :P

my dear calvin,

we have too many things in common with each other. i demand u to lay down your quest to become more like me and try to remain the ninkampoop of a kid u always were... wait thats being me too!

no wonder you don't exist anymore *sob sob*....
i miss you nonetheless...

your everloving,
susie/hobbes/insi

(PS: who the F**** is insi?)

Monday, November 14, 2005

blank

Mood: melancholy
Song: ballad pour adeline
Newest infatuation: jealousy
Secretly craving: raw mangoes
Wish i were...someone special.

I think i sound ungrateful. But i feel this way anyway. I've the most amazing best friend in the world who i know i can always depend on. But life is not all that rosy. Its crazy to have such an amazing best friend who makes your worries all go away.

I end making myself the loser through my jealousy, battering my own self confidence and self worth. Maybe i should look at the brighter things.. like life itself, and who ive become. Bickering doesn help. Neither does jealousy.

Lets get back to the real world. Of books that look and weigh like bricks... of books that make no sense.. merely strings of words trying to tell you somethin abt a place ull never really know...

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Procrastination

About Procrastination

Procrastination is a strange phenomenon. It often seems to be a good way of making life more enjoyable (by delaying unpleasant responsibilities) but inevitably backfires to make things more difficult and stressful. And it is a rare individual that escapes the dark hand of procrastination. Many people struggle for years to free themselves from its chains in order to achieve academic success, fulfilling relationships, a clean house, or a muscular body.

Most people understand that they will feel better once their duties are done, but the human brain is infinitely complex and procrastination is not an easy monster to beat. It is not necessarily the result of laziness or lack of self-discipline, but can be rooted in a multiplicity of causes. And determining why you procrastinate is the best way to eradicate it from your list of habits. Once you've learned why you put things off, you can deal with the real issues at hand and finally learn to face work and school, deal with relationships, tackle household chores, and face personal issues head on. With a good attitude, faith, and perseverance, this is a battle that can be won!



Results of the Procrastination Test


Tendency to procrastinate
Ruler
Your score = 37 Your score



What does your score mean?

According to this test, you have a slight tendency to procrastinate. If you are generally happy with the outcome and quality of your work and don't feel extra stress from this habit, there is no need to change. But if you would like to lessen the anxiety in your life or become more productive and efficient, consider working towards eradicating procrastination! Check out the tips below for some advice on how to tackle your tendency to put things off.



Advice & Tips

  • Don't be discouraged by setbacks. Realize that you are human and try again.
  • Estimate the amount of time you think it will take you to complete a task, then increase that amount by 100%.
  • Visualize how much easier it is to do a job in smaller chunks. If you do it bit by bit, it will be done painlessly before you know it.
  • Announce your goals to family and friends. This will put some pressure on you to actually do what you claim. Post your goals on the fridge, around your workspace...
  • Give yourself rewards for jobs completed.

Friday, November 11, 2005

dejected and depressed

Mood:blue/ borderline jealousy of all those lucky people out there
Song: silence
Newest infatuation: fries
Secretly craving: chocolate
Wish i were...famous, outgoing, popular, cool, smart, focused, lucky, rich...

ok well things really aren;t going too well. i mean my lifes great and all but i lack that something thats going to make me a future. the something that everyone else seems to have but i dont.

i dont even know what the next step in my life is going to be. graduate. work. and then study again. or just go through till the end and then work... i really have no idea wat i should do. even if i do work, what am i going to do... will i even be eligible for a decent job...

life after school has gotten depressing. no one cares about u anymore. you dont have time to make friends. they just want to work ur butt and ur head off. so once that is over, where to? the competition doesnt suit all, it works badly on some of us. theyve got to know that some of us do indeed have potential, but it shows in different ways, or more like it doesnt show under pressure. sigh but the problem is, in the real world, you gotta look after urself. no ones gonna bother about how you feel. i just hope God has a plan for me.

for now i think ill just try to crawl out of my depression and enjoy the essay im going to write, and be thankful for all the things ive been blessed with, instead of being green over what i dont have. life has a promise. ill just have to see it.

timewaster

Mood:lazy
Song:silence
Newest infatuation:sleep
Secretly craving:ice cream
Wish i were...at home

now that theres a lull in everythig, although there shouldnt be, im sleepy sleepy sleepy. i should be studying. i should be writing an essay. reading atleast. but no im just waiting and watching and BLOGGING!! such timewaster.

ok me off..
i just realised that theres a REAL world out there...

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

a day in the life...

Mood: sweet melancholy
Song: where is my mind? - the pixies
Newest infatuation: chiang mai mango salad at thai express
Secretly craving: raw mangoes and chilli
Wish i were...at a beach resort...


so much for an HR test/exam or whatever it was. design submission was ok. kinda pissed at myself for coming up with a smaller model, but im happy atleast i had it. I was so sick and tired of the design, i couldnt possibly go thru the same process again (the truth of the matter, i was screwed cos i had run out of time, i had a model there only through the grace of God). Tomorrows the critique, im first up in line to be shot down. I hope this way there are lower expectations and so i can take an easier dose of pain.

But todays food was awesome. i stuffed myself to the max i found it hard to walk... as if id never seen food before! plus i was crying my eyes out too!!! but thais the way to go. the mango salad reminded me of the acharu i love from home... but it was awesome in its own right.

theres a sudden lull in everything thats going on. everyone around me is tense about exams. i should be tense too. ive hardly been the bookish type this semester. but im cool.

then comes the thought of the next semester. i figure i owe myself a better design, since it would be my last. i HAVE to make a 1:100 model. i HAVE to have nice panels. i wanna leave with a bang, in my own heart atleast. after that i have no idea whats in store. the future is a scary place. uncertainties, dislikes, competencies and all that. maybe i should try to take up photography or something. it might be more satisfying. writing maybe. or even history. (history is a very engaging subject, had i stumbled upon it earlier in life, i mite not even be in architecture school) But all in all i want to make something useful out of my life in a way that i can be useful... to give my best, and i still haven't found my area of expertise. i'm beginning to feel that it doesnt exist. maybe i should tap into something new, perhaps photography. a back up plan is always useful.

i have dreams and aspirations, the things i want to do after i graduate... the places i want to go... but they all seem limited. :( perhaps its my negative attitude that has always kept me back. the close mindedness that dint let me see further than my own two eyes. jealousy creeps in n i think of the would have beens had i not been so stuck up. or perhaps id like to blame it on external situations. but whos to blame for those, except me and myself?

so when it comes to the question of giving up architecture, i can't bear to go through with it. I've developed an attachment to it, its become a part of me. But its saddening to feel so hopeless in this feild. somehow i don't see myself being succesful at it. perhaps it is my negative attitude again workin on me, showing me the impossible only. the possible lies behind the haze of the negativity. i hope it clears. i want to make a decision. the real world i waiting. i need answers... im still looking for the questions

Friday, November 04, 2005

food glorious food

today.. engrossed in my sketchup model i have been hungry hungry hungry hungry...

i bought enough food to feed an entire family. *greed*

but its prolly gonna last me till nite...

the menu is,
rice, chicken n cabbage.
veggie salad.
guava with salt.
orange juice.

the kind lady at the canteen gave me some murruku for snacks. at the rate im eating, im bound to gain all the weight ive so proudly lost. :(

breakfast was no light issue either.. cake cake fruit fruit and milo. i seem to follow the principle of 2 goods cancel 2bads... im disillusioned.

ok thats my set of discordant sentences for today. till my brain switches on to real life mode (as similar to ur life) i shall try to be more educated.

but who the hells gonna care anyway! :)

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

newest music crush

Jack johnson...smooth and sensual.. tingles the senses...
its the artist im talking about.
check him out now if you haven't. constellations is a good place to start.

laka ukulele!

so this is me...




Your positive traits:
You're very tuned into your lover's feelings - and always doing something caring.
Sweetness - you're the most romantic person your parnter has ever met.
You get easily swept away and are a total delight to fall in love with.

Your negative traits:
You are super duper sensitive and find it hard to get out of a sad mood.
It's difficult for you to tell your sweetie no, even when you should.
You often tell your partner what they want to hear, instead of being honest.

Your ideal partner:
Is straight from a fairy tale - the man or woman of your dreams
Is a total romantic, with an artistic or creative side
Loves to express their love to you, in all sorts of unique ways

Your dating style:
Dreamy. You like traditional romantic dates, like picnics in the park and candlelight dinners.

Your seduction style:
Fearless - you try what your parnter suggests, no matter how unusual.
Loving. You'll take your pleasure second, if necessary.
Internal. A lot of your enjoyment takes place within your head.

Tips for the future:
Be more realistic. Your romantic ideal is nice, but it may just not happen.
Let go of your fear of rejection - it's holding you back from being with your true love.
Open yourself up to a new love. The person you think you want make not be the one..

*

my head hurts. my eyes are open merely cos my brain wants them to be. i have been awake for more than 12 hours and this is wat happens. how am i to survive the next few days!

i wrote an entire post with the spirit and sarcasm that i usually show when im pissed off. but it got lost somewhere on blogger (and surprisingly i dint get pissed off then) and is now simply nothingness. the anger has worn away...more like the essay is finally done!

to the next phase. design. i pray for strength and courage. and hope that my motivation wont falter. if you already know me, you'll know why i pray and hope so hard. it takes divine intervention for u to see these qualities in me.

"The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen."
-Frank Lloyd Wright

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