spin me around again...

mint chocolate coffee.

0.3 felt tip pen.

passport notebook.

voyeurism.

empty chairs.

broken cookies.

that's all it takes. 

ultimately. that's just all it takes.

i'm vain...

and the canon service centre knows that too.

i can't imagine anything more embarrassing than sending your camera into service without removing the memory card. it doesn't help that there were more than 50 narcissistic photographs of myself with blood red lipstick and green eyeshadow. horrific i tell you, but the service centre guys would have had something to laugh about. (but then again, if they circulate it, i might become a movie star...)

my face may even be pasted on a dart board and every time someone aims well enough for a bullseye, i get a pimple. (although i'm quite sure there are a handful of people who may be doing that already...) grievances aside, i think it is only prudent that you be protective over your photos, even if you may want to be 'discovered'. your intellectual property is at risk too, and you never know if the person on the other side needs a subject for a voodoo experiment...

Resonance

i think i've seen every star that i care to see.

and i don't want to leave.

it hurts when you're self-deceived.

good charlotte is full of cheesy lyrics. but sometimes, cheese isn't a bad thing. it resonates loud and clear and shuts your brain switch off. writing becomes benevolent. drawing becomes psychotic and the cheese melts your inhibitions. 

cheese is cheesy. so if you care enough to be cheesy go spread somewhere else. hardcore camembert and brie only accepted here. they stand the test of time.

death and all of his friends

i don't want to cycle, re-cycle revenge. i don't want to follow death and all of his friends.

if this is what is called anger, i don't like it. if this is what is called turbulence, it is not helping me. i need a new life playlist. a tune to dance to along with people and all the paraphernalia. i am punching this screen and plucking out all eye-balls. because even when you convince your self that nothing could get better and you are at the top, a drop from the ceiling, a fight, a fire, sets you in rewind. and then you see, that unlike more privileged people, you run on windows; you crash and restart.

Dangerous

"Hold on tight. You know she's a little big dangerous..."

"That girl is so dangerous, (That girl is so Dangerous) she's so dangerous, that girl is a bad girl..."

Je suis dangereux. L'aimer!

Au revoir,

Amelie

and so it is...

just like I said it would be, words come easy on me, most of the time... about food

The Junkbox has finally opened for thought... exclusively, working to swell up that apetite.

enjoy!

I have red and yellow fingernails!

And, I bought lime green and orange shoes.

Lime green shoes have been on my list for a long time... I'm only worried that I'm starting to resemble some sort of macaw with this new fascination of avian mating colours.

Anyhow, painting my nails was fun. Almost artistic. Trying to get this squiggly curve to turn out right, with just the right amount of red and yellow was an utterly rewarding experience. As a first timer with creative nail painting, more so on myself, the little bits of keratin on my fingers turned into a temporary canvas for a walking exhibition of abstract art. I quite like it though. If not for the sloppiness inherent in my left hand (I'm right handed) I would say they are pretty perfect... Hah, enough about that...

I have also been looking for the perfect economic, colourful, stylish, well printed organiser. There are many interesting ones, the one I took a liking to was the Monologue 2009 A6 diary that comes in pink, white, black and purple. Unfortunately, I need an organiser, which tends to be more flexible. So my search continues.

I am...

I am the air you choose to breathe,
When the cold wind comes this way.
I am the bitter smelling reed
That slithers where you lay.
I am the crystalline blackness,
That overtakes the day,
Shattering all your sadness,
Come out! Come out and play!

This was written by me, in a more sombre mood.

Anyway, I am going to revive one of my many blogs to talk about food. Food (and tea) has been my lifeline through hard times and has become an obsession that I would very much like to share. Please visit The Junkbox for the yummiest, sweetest and most sinful treats that make up life. Look out for the special section on tea that will be coming up soon.

till the tummy tingles for tasty treats,
au revoir,
amelie

the reading list

For someone who loves to write, I hardly ever read. My excuse is even stupider--I do not read, because if the book is good, it becomes an obsession until i read the last page. This has happened too many times. But well, some things can't be helped. It's all in the name of knowledge.

So as the news goes, I have a reading list. It is quite broad (and it also depends on the whims and fancies of the library), but nonetheless, it is a list. Let me get into the details of what brought me back to this literate state. It was none other than good marketing. I saw a lime green copy of The Arabian Nights at Kinokuniya. It was the perfect lime green. It even matched my yoga pants. I had to buy the book and I had to buy The Arabian Nights, simply because i hadn't read it yet. To my surprise, it was cheap. 5 $ for a penguin paperback. I realised it was made from recycled paper (and still it can outshine the non recycled copies. lime green was a brilliant marketing idea!) and that is why it was cheaper. To come back to the point, I have started sourcing for books to read at my local library. I'd rather not read books without a recommendation for it could be a complete waste of time. Besides, I usually have no patience for that kind of crap.

Anyway, everytime I tick off one title on my list, I'll post my personal comments and responses on [ human space ]. The first of many more to come....

au revoir,
amelie

Les Choristes

caresse sur l'ocean


vois sur ton chemin

still water

i've always liked maksim. i wen't out to buy coldplay but instead i got a compilation of orchestral and classical songs. i'm not regretting it, but somehow my desires are always open to interpretation. my new earphones also afford me this choice. somehow music sounds so much better through them. now all i need is an ultra expensive sound system to satisfy me.

while we are on the subject of whims and nonsensical fancies, i must point out to you i have way more than i can handle. some may seem lucrative, some whimsical, some indulgent and many nonsensical. nonetheless they all afford me this satisfaction of believing that it is all achievable.

in an area as limited as this, occupation is a must. usually my sort of personal occupation tends to burn a hole in my wallet so i've listed down a couple of things that you can do here that won't drive you broke before payday.

1. read: the library is free. (just return the books on time)
2. exercise: apart from saving transportation costs, your circulation improves
3. paint: the walls if you have to. eases your mind so you can save counseling costs.
4. drink water: it's not free but its cheap. warm water also helps you lose weight.
5. avoid shopping malls: most important rule. if you must go there, leave all your cards behind and carry only limited cash.

i think these tips should come in handy now, since the whole world is pretty worried about the new born recession. it's not about being stingy, its about saving on fringe costs. there are many more but because i have a headache i shall leave you till the next time.

au revoir,
amelie

there's planning... and then there is over-planning

planning has always been a good thing. having things to do or doing the things you have to do must always be planned. it helps to compartmentalise your life and get the best out of the activity or the task.

but, if you try to coerce a naturally messy person into planning, you might just get a very well planned mess.

that sentence looked nice on the screen so i decided to leave it there, although it does digress from my point. i think planning is essential, to a level where you know what needs to be done. somehow, anyone who has gone past 10 years of life will know plans don't always work out. you need to plan for mistakes, discrepancies, shortages, and all the what ifs and what nots. so basically, you need to plan with the possibility of it all going wrong. which to me, sounds terribly ironic. why plan at all, i would say...

as an individual, i never started out with a plan. i just followed my likes, dislikes, and skills. maybe i was lucky to be good enough to pursue whatever i wanted, so ultimately i am who i am based on a whim and a lot of effort... to breakdown this vague analysis, this is an essential checklist to understand where you stand

1. list down 5 things you love doing (in order of preference)
2. list down 5 things you are extremely good at doing or have received recognition for
3. list down 5 things you wish you could do or wish you could be better at doing
4. list down 5 things you want to learn in the next 5 years

voila! i think you might be able to see some parallels and get your life into perspective. writing things down has always helped me focus on the bigger picture. this technique helped me get through my olevels and alevels. pretty much so for university and now its helping me add the buzz back into my life.

with this, i take your leave.

aurevoir,
amelie

'cos your so auto-de-blu

it's true. look how they shine for you. suddenly i see, that's what i wan't to be. you can see she's a beautiful girl... she's a beautiful girl; everything around her is a silver pool of light.

i was thinking along the lines of 'purple dash' but i'm more of an 'auto-de-blu'. tired and worn out i'm writing on a day that brought no inspiration. i have become a work-a-holic. my only entertainment is the walk home, occasionally bumping into people i know. my newly acquired philosophy has deleted stress from the dictionary. 'stress' is there only if you leave room for it. once it's removed, things become manageable. they're still difficult, but they're getting done. this sort of attitude comes by when you know there's nothing left to lose.

as far as philosophies go, i used to rule the world. many worlds. i've seen them crumble and shatter before me. there's no lost meaning, because there was nothing meant. there's no lost feeling, because there was nothing felt. when 'things' begin to lose their value, is when you are at your best.

i say goodnight and go,
amelie

an endless epiphany i see...

"And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand" -Coldplay

i see patterns in poetry;
reminisce a while...
see what lies inside my mind |"life"

"... and the magic is in the eyeliner"

a long long day today began with a migraine of sorts. usually a cup of tea solves everything, unfortunately today did not seem very usual. two cups in the morning didn't open my eyes. the other two in the afternoon were not too useful either. but the 3 dozes of darjeeling in the evening had some effect on my capabilities and i managed to stretch my work day a coupla more hours. once the regular part of life, aka work, was done with, the hunger kicked in. half a pizza later, a friday night calls for something special. today it was known as pistachio and white chocolate cake. which, naturally would go along with a fragrant cup of earl grey. in total of 8 cups of tea could equal substance abuse, and hence i am awake at 3 am trying hard to think and explain why it is only eyeliner that makes it to heaven in the book of make-up.

i've come up with a random theory of weekly make-up. it is always lovely to look good because it makes you feel good too. but somehow my migraine today took out the greyer side of my face. dotted with concealer and a toned down red lipstick i faced the world of cosmetics. not very impressive i would say. but saved, in terms of 'face'. anyways i digress, from the varied levels of make up exploited this week along with the events that i was lucky to attend, i would say the eyeliner is royalty. almost the spice of life that encourages a stranger to smile, or a passer by to turn just for that second glance.

in any case, i leave eyeliner, mascara and the works only for extreme situations when it is absolutely necessary. mostly because my eyes suffer. even with all these clever remover products and opthomologically (right spelling i hope) tested eye make up my eyes can get itchy with all the residue. so naturally, after 2 days of using it, the third is always a rest day.

so back to the theory.
monday: basics (which are concealer, face powder, blush and lip balm) with pencil eyeliner
tuesday: basics, pencil eyeliner, lipstick
wednesday: basics, liquid eyeliner, mascara
thursday: basics, liquid eyeliner, lipstick
friday: basics. mascara. lipgloss. (anything more might make you attract way more attention than required, but then again i know a lot of people who can carry off the works with no issues so this report is subjective)

anyways since the tea has gotten me on the subject of vanity, i need to leave you before i begin a less indept and more ridiculous analysis of make-up and other vain vices of our world.

au revoir,
amelie

ex-po-zay!

ex-po-zay!

[unfortunately i don't have the little french accent on my keyboard for correct spelling, so bear with the phonetics.]

but that's what facebook is pretty much good at doing. somehow i wonder why im part of this vicious circle. as a piece of advice, every time you add or change a network, you need to change your privacy settings too. else, bear with "ex-po-zay!"

it's scary to know how many people will have access to personal information when your profile is "at large" in a network. needless to say, everyone knows this bullshit, but i was the victim here and i felt the moment of fear/"oh shit!"

more along the lines of exposure, the SIPF opening was today. an amazing event. lot's of important and interesting people. most of all, amazing photo stories. anyone can take great photographs, it only takes skill. to make this art, you need meaning- a narrative. this is what i saw at the works displayed today. photography that extends a moment through many still frames, divulging enough and concealing more. then you have your imagination/logic to fill in the rest. for a taste of this please go down (or rather "up") to take a look at the works.[www.sipf.com.sg]

"Where have you been when you were really comfortable inside your skin?" - Paul Kohl

there are plenty of fringe events going on during the sipf. so do enjoy!

another note on "ex-po-zay!". i've gotten used to this feature on the mac. i totally miss this on my pc. and now i end up squishing the sides of my mouse hoping to see my desktop.

au revoir for now!

amelie

running in heels with a dagger in my hand!

this is the sort of expression that is going catch people's attention. and being in this lackadaisical couldn't care less phase of life, i would say achievement is a must. the problem is that there is no single plan. there are many. like a child entranced, each new experience, outlook and opportunity becomes exciting, eye-opening, and almost obsessive. it is the idea of an idea that can keep this wandering spirit alive.

walking down the cobbled path (yes the path is cobbled. this is not a random phrase from an old english tale) in killer red stilettos, i burst into song. this sort of enthusiasm isn't normal in a sobered down, knackered soul like me. but yes, these random moments do happen, and when they do, there is a need for an explanation. excitement wears off from novelty. this splash of energy resonates from an enticing 4 days in a country not my own (although i wish it were) and not my adopted home either. a first timer in any city is always awe struck. hk for that matter, was all my architecture case studies coming to life. the congestion, the shopping avenues, the classiness, the age and the dirt all combined into one was a wonderfully refreshing. the urbanity and the density of such a vibrant city was what i needed to see. the activity available in hk is another emotion altogether. and so i have begun another urban love affair along with a thirst to see and touch new places.

if you were to consider the elements that define me, i would find it hard to pin point any particular characteristic. some things at the top of my head would be;
1. colourful or pointy shoes (sometimes both)
2. make up
3. exquisite and exotic food that looks pretty (not necessarily expensive and usually very safe)
4.long aimless walks (camera in hand)
5. discovery (usually of places)
6. bright pink, red and more recently lime green
7.tea

feel free to add to the list. im usually the worst at judging myself. fickle it may seem, but it is an experience cherished. a personality explored and a phase enjoyed or overcome. this is what i feel life is about; transition and the jabs, bolts and ecstasy that's embedded in the package.

so i must say, for a wanderer like me, until the i find solid ground to stand on (or for that matter if someone decides to lend me some), i simply choose to live this moment chasing every penchant idea; beautiful like a butterfly trying to reach the sky!

realise

caustic irony

snow patrol is playing chasing cars in the background. i haven't heard this song for months. why does it have to play today?

more about aging

helen mirren